Who is listening to who about what, some tips

Given the news about GCHQ listening in to all our communications I thought I would send out an email to friends and family that might make the dour listeners break into a healthy laugh. So the email tacked on to some signs watchers might like to use to work out our/my political affiliations, to give them a few clues as to what to look for re spy in the sky monitoring.

It ran something like the following, and please remember this was written in the UK so the party affiliation colours are only really related to what we are familiar with, other countries and colours are available.
Have you noticed the colour combinations and predominances in your garden and the plant world generally. Yellow tends to be predominate not because it attracts pollinators but because it expresses our Lib-Dem political affiliations. But also have you noticed how our political affiliations vary with the season an early expanse of yellow daffodils and we favour the Lib-Dems, followed by a swing to the blue of bluebells hence the Conservatives then, when the roses get into full flower and the red of Labour or Communist tends to be our preference. So check your gardens for your political affiliations, others will and be making their decisions about you.

What colour is UKIP? Must find out and rip up those plants. Better not google it, someone will be watching and making notes. There is no way I want anyone to associate me with that lot of small minded little Englanders.

After that I realised there are more clues to be garnered from analysing the colour in your garden. Most of the garden proving (and sorry about this) that at grass roots we are favour the green environmentally friendly political parties. At the moment my garden is mostly Green with large splashes of White for pacifism (now that really is true about me) with one area seeming to display the colours of the Suffragette movement.

As yet I have had no rude comments, any comments, in response to my email about my silly joke on GCHQ listening in, but I live in hope and excited anticipation. As one civil rights campaigner put it over here today, there was a vote in parliament recently about a 'snoopers charter' which was lost, and yet they were doing all the time. We are meant to be a democracy, so it would be nice to have a bit of openness, say and accountability, or are we all fodder/sheep/peasants to be used, manipulated and sacrificed to suit some grander and likely very dubious agenda?
Its not the worst thing in the world but it is something we should be able to do something about if the word democracy means anything to anyone.